Women are always comparing themselves to one another while pretending not to. Who is prettier? Who has the smaller ass? Who has the cutest shoes? In the professional world it becomes a subtle art form with a certain finesse. You know those catty girls in high school? They don't grow up. They just spend years sharpening their claws and practicing their underhanded insults.
So we have a little group of underlings here at work that are planning on going to law school, myself included. Everyone took their LSATs last summer/fall and I'm the only one taking it this Saturday. *Gag*Stress*Choke*
So my life has become nothing more than working, studying, and thus, ass-expanding. I'm not fat so I figure, if I don't work out for a month or two, no one will notice. Why bother, you know? Until yesterday. Sweet File Clerk and I went down the the convenience store in our building to get some dessert after lunch.
Size 7 Atlparalegal: Hi! Welcome back from your vacation. How was it?
Perfect Size 2 Store lady: It was wonderful. I think you get prettier every time I see you!
Size 7 Atlparalegal: [Eyes ice cream freezer] Thanks. But I doubt it. I think I'm getting fatter every time you see me.
Perfect Size 2 Store lady: [Glances at the ice cream freezer and then gives pointed look to Atlparalegal] Yes, well I always though the chubby girls were the prettiest.
Sweet File Clerk: Thank you! Have a nice day! [Drags Size 7 Atlparalegal out of the store as her Wolverine claws have come out and she has started frothing at the mouth.]
Atlparalegal: I'm so stressed out because of the LSATs.
Denial Biddy: Oh, you'll do fine.
Atlparalegal: I hope so. I feel like I should just go home and study. Work seems so insignificant right now.
Denial Biddy: Well. You should feel that way. This test determines the rest of your life.
Atlparalegal: I never thought of it that way. The rest of my life. The rest of my life. The... rest... of... my... life...? [Sways and falls to the ground due to cardiac arrest]
Edit: This entry was posted by S. F. Clerk at the request of Atlparalegal who has been put on strict bed rest until her LSAT. Her doctors advise not saying the words "LSAT," "Law School," "U.S. News Rankings," "LSAC," "fat," and "fucking, manipulative, catty bitches" around her. It is difficult to retract Wolverine claws and her insurance does not cover rage.
[x-posted to paralegals